Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Havent updated my blog in awhile been so busy lately, back to working full time ( boo ) and hospital visits and just life in general blah blah etc... Yer that's enough about Vanilla.

Only 9 Days until I'm down in London and I can not fooking wait!! 
I've emailed or text messages all who have booked a session, will be sending out details mid week next week. If it's easier for anyone who booked a session to get these details via text message email me your phone numbers and will send via message.

I have purchased a new phone and SIM card recently just to use for bookings and talkin shit to people who call however il be fucked if I can figure how to use the bastard. Once I figure it out I will post the number on this site, how long I keep the seperate phone for will depend on it being abused or not by you guys. Don't be cocks and spoil it for everyone, I'm sure a lot of fun can be had by all.

I'm hoping the new number will stop me getting ridiculous messages at can't be fucked o'clock via whatsapp then Skype, then email!  The phone will be turned on when I'm free to chat or message and off at other times... 

Until I figure it out I can still be reached on the same number if you have it. 

Easter is around the corner and the perfect reason to treat your empress to chocolate... My Easter egg should be bigger than your Wifes/girlfriend/right hand, and that's of course because I put myself on a pedestal high above them.

I've just discovered Salted Chocolate... Two things most people shouldn't be eating in the quantities I do but am gladly stuffing my face with it. That and the popping candy chocolate ( still ). So if I'm seeing you before and you want to treat me you know what to do.

If not... There's chocolate on my wish list.. As well as many other things

And on another note... Anyone good at painting nails ( both hand & feet ) and massages...? I'm thinking I need to be pampered. This won't be a charged session, however you will be put to work doing the above, then told to leave when I'm done with you. If you do however fuck my nails up and don't correct your mistakes before I notice you will be put in a head lock and escorted ( kicking & screaming) out of my place in just your off coloured white Y-fronts.

Oh and because of the types of emails I get I'm going to clarify the fuck out of what I just said..

No I don't mean pampering with your tongue
No I don't mean pampering with your dysfunctional lopsided tiny penis
No.. Just No. Not your fingers either. 

Anyone who says as much in reference to the above will be publicly names and shamed, and those who purposely try and get publicly shamed on my blog will be ignored... Yup, those people actually exist.

I mean exactly what I say, massage my feet and hands. Maybe tops of my shoulders. 
Then file, paint, manicure my hands and feet. Then leave.

See what I did there , I said exactly what will happen. Anything else will have to go down the normal route of emailing me a request to book a session .
Anyway,  I digress as always, I'm in the bath as I update this and it's time I got out ( if you didn't picture me naked then...You will have now)

Still a little availability for the weekend in London, message me for more info if interested.

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